Second Life has ruined my son's life!!!!

Tags: Second Life + RPG games + online gaming + games

MelodyL posted on Dec 3rd 2007 5:22PM

I am the mother of a 26 year old young man. He moved away from home at the age of 20. I have no idea if Second Life was around 6 years ago, but let me make one thing perfectly clear. Second Life should be banned from every home everywhere. It is an addiction that takes hold and takes over one's life. I had no clue what my son was doing. He is 26, does not work, gambles, and goes on the computer. That is his life.

He was diagnosed with Aspergers Disorder when he was 21. He was not living at home at the time. It seems that many people with Aspergers do not like other people, do not like to socialize, and choose, as their avatars, Androids in Second Life. Do any of you know what it is like to have a child, and then lose that child to a compuer virtual reality world? I know what this is like. It has happened to me and my family. I do not know who my son is anymore. I don't even know what he looks like. He doesn't care about anything but Second LIfe. I believe he lives, sleeps and eats this virtual reality world. I joined it, just to see what the heck he was doing all day. I had to choose an avatar, and there was my son, inviting me to go flying with him. I admit, it was nice for about 10 minutes. Going shopping and such. It's a nice place to get away for an hour or so once in a while. But to live in this world, to never leave your home, to have no friends, to not have a girlfriend. To not exercise, walk around the block, etc., well, you must understand. This is the same as drinking, drugging, or gambling. It's an addiction. It destroys families.

My son went to college and is brilliant. As are most users in Second Life, I would imagine. But to not see your mother for 6 years. To not call your father when he is in the hospital. To actually tell your parents, "you are no longer a priority in my life". Well, to me, the founders of Second Life should be arrested and put away for life.

They have destroyed families. Shame on them.

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Comments

	moondust says: Second life has it ups and down's but for me i found a whole new wrold here and now i have foun my husbond to be here and were getting married soon Posted: 03/30/10 19:57
	MelodyL says: Let me tell you something interesting that I just found out. I had never knew this before. I found a website named OLGA, Online Gamers Anonymous. Well, every single parent is going through what I went through. There are also people who have lost husbands and wives due to Second Life, World of Warcraft, etc. It seems that all this video games change the domanine level in the brain and the kids can't stop, and if you try and take the game console away, the kids rebel and some even attack the parents. This is very serious. Video gaming is addictive, and more important, these virtual reality worlds are ADDICTIVE. I do not believe my son has aspergers. My son's behavior fits EXACTLY what these parents are discussing. These parents are going through hell. Kids are not going to school, they are not getting off of the computer, or playstation. All they do, day and night is play games. One young man does not see his family any more. His parents are broken hearted. I now know that my son is absolutely 100% a Gaming Addict. I have nothing more to say. There are no rehabs yet for this kind of addiction. Because every single household buys these consoles and computers for the kids. Think about it. When does a kid start smoking? At about 14 or 15 (to be cool, to fit in, WHATEVER). When does a kid start using video games. FROM THE AGE OF 3. They get them hooked young. They should be arrested. Go online and do the research if you don't believe that I have written. Oh and all these gaming addicts have the same Mantra.... I can quit whenever I wish, I'm not an addict, I can quit. AND THEY NEVER DO!!! Posted: 03/31/10 08:32
	simranzenov says: Hi I am about your sons age. I'm 27 years old and I have been playing video games since I was 6 and know how your son probably feels. Even now I play online games all the time. Games are not the enemy. Do you watch TV? It's the same thing. Games play your emotions just like movies. It's all for fun and enjoyment. It's entertainment. I play games online every day(sometimes all day if I'm off work), yet still I managed to get my computer programming degree. I am happily married, and I still have time to visit my family. You really should not blame the games. If he's playing games to avoid family, friends, and life, then most likely your son is severely depressed and might need help. The games are probably the only thing keeping him from killing himself. At least it's games and not drugs. Posted: 06/16/10 21:15
	MelodyL says: The following line (which you wrote) says it all!!!! "and I still have time to visit my family." Are you out of your mind? YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO VISIT YOUR FAMILY???? Go to: olganon.org and you'll see WHAT A GAMING ADDICTION IS. Just go there and read the posts. This gaming industry is ruining families. My son is an addict, and so is anyone who stays on the computer most of the day and night, playing in fantasy worlds, dealing with fantasy people, and not living their life. You can delude yourself all you want. Check out the website. Maybe THEN you'll get an idea of how much PC video gaming, such as WOW and Second Life, are RUINING families, marriages, etc. Posted: 06/17/10 07:14
	MelodyL says: Oh and one more thing I had recently found out. All these people being diagnosed with Aspegers actually ARE ADDICTED TO GAMING. They never leave their rooms, they never get off the computer, they have no social life whatsoever. So pychiatrists (who know nothing about gaming addictions), pronounced them as having Aspergers. I read an article about how this is now changing. They now see this addiction for what it is!!! A gaming addiction. People spend thousands of dollars INSIDE the game, not to join, but to PLAY THE GAME. Buying virtual weapons, gathering virtual clans, meeting and (sometimes leaving their marriages ) for VIRTUAL PEOPLE. I read a message that one wife did not see her husband for days. He never saw their children, he would NOT get off the computer. And here's another clue. When you try and get a 17 year old off the computer by taking it away, or unplugging it, and he GOES VIRAL ON YOU AND HITS YOU, Then believe me, THIS IS A PROBLEM. It's an addiction. Posted: 06/17/10 07:32
	Axeloakleaf says: I'm on Second life and i know you can earn a lot of money from it. Like Anshe Chung and whatnot,so don't put it down,right now there is a contest at one club for L$10,000.00 which translates to a lot in real money. Hopefully i win the money today and prove everyone wrong. BTW,yiff in heaven Furrfriends! Posted: 06/28/10 16:46
	Axeloakleaf says: BTW,Why can't i remove posts i don't like anymore? Posted: 06/28/10 16:47
	BrookeC says: Second Life is not addicting. I played it for a while but quit because 1. I found it boring. 2. It was very slow on my pc. But its built for fun, not to be addicting. Yes, some people get addicted to it, but not everyone. Just because a few people get addicted to a game doesn't automatically make it evil. That goes for all games. Posted: 10/18/10 19:10
	MelodyL says: A few people get addicted? A few people?? Look at the world we now live in. They are making hand held gadgets for 2 year olds to teach them. Little toddlers are using their parents iphones and won't get off the couch unless mommy gives them the iphones and then they use it for hours. Mommy doesn't care because it quiets the kiddies. Our nation is going to be ruined because of all the computer usage, texting, watching tv, virtual reality. It used to be family values meant something. Try taking a gadget away from a 2 year old. He'll stomp his feet, cry and make a scene. Same thing happens when you try and take a computer game away from a 17 year old. Except he's bigger than you and will punch you out. Happens every day. Don't think for a minute that Second Life is not addicting. Posted: 10/18/10 20:24
	slvrlipes82 says: First of all what dose asperger syndrome have anything to do with video game adiction? It's an autism spectrum. And from what I read if they werne't playign video games they would be doing dome other activity repetitively. Paretn's like to blame everythign but themselves for the way their children turn out; when the fact remains that if parents had doen their job their children wouldn't be adicted to begin with. Try looking atyourself before you start pointing fingers. And as for two year olds refusing to leave the couch without an iphone.. why woudl a two year old even know what an iphone was unless the PARENT had given it to them. Try disiplinign your child instead of blamign other things for the fact that you don't know how to raise a child. Posted: 11/02/10 09:33
	slvrlipes82 says: First of all what dose asperger syndrome have anything to do with video game adiction? It's an autism spectrum. And from what I read if they werne't playign video games they would be doing dome other activity repetitively. Paretn's like to blame everythign but themselves for the way their children turn out; when the fact remains that if parents had doen their job their children wouldn't be adicted to begin with. Try looking atyourself before you start pointing fingers. And as for two year olds refusing to leave the couch without an iphone.. why woudl a two year old even know what an iphone was unless the PARENT had given it to them. Try disiplinign your child instead of blamign other things for the fact that you don't know how to raise a child. Posted: 11/02/10 11:04
	MelodyL says: This is how my husband has replied to your VERY STUPID post. Addiction, while it may be inherited to some degree, it is controlled with your mind. You are the master of your own destination, not your parents. All these idiots who text all day long, and play video games all day long, and then punch out their parents, YOU BLAME THE PARENTS??? Are you for real. Oh, I agree a two year old should not be given an IPHONE, or ITOUCH. But to blame parents because the kids are doing Second Life, Worlds of Warcraft, etc, well what else did I expect you to say. You obviously play on the computer all day long. Posted: 11/02/10 13:42
	Unimpressed says: It is NOT inherited to a 'degree', it IS inherited, addictive personalitites are linked to genetics. So guess your both to blame...Addiction is NOT CONTROLLED, So what the hell do you mean controlled in your mind, it is a loss of control. His coping mechanism, as far as I can see... is to escape a lunatic control freak, without the ability to take productive steps rather than lash out at a community of over 60,000 people. Why do you have a pc if your so against it? Set an example if your so concerned about your son and get of the internet. You seem to show signs of addiction as well as you have replied to every post the very day it was posted. Are you addicted to this site and it's interaction? Posted: 11/11/10 15:17
	Unimpressed says: And your little wikipedia articles are not considered scholarly articles in the medical field, so grab some viable reasearh from proquest etc. If your going to 'quote' articles I want research info and links...Not some lunatics babble citing fake research, or their own perception of ONE research theory, in the hope of sounding educated. Posted: 11/11/10 15:22
	MelodyL says: First of all, I don't owe you anything. You come off as rude and completely without empathy. Most people have computers today. When I created this particular message board, it was because I had recently found out that my son was severely addicted to Second Life. He is a compulsive gambler, He walked away from us and never looked back. This has nothing to do with me or his father controlling him. This has everything to do with being a productive human being. Of course we all battle our impulses. I used to have a weight problem. But I went to work every day and I raised a family. I have since learned better coping strategies, and better ways of eating. I now grow my own food. My health is much better for it. And as for my replying to every post on this board, I get an email notifying me that someone replied to a previous post. I do not text message anyone, I do not go on facebook, I do not play games on the computer. I use it to research Diabetes, and other neurological diseases. I am part of a forum that helps people. In my humble opinion, anyone that does not work and lives on the computer 24/7 needs to grow up, get a job and be a productive member of society. I honestly think my son has Peter Pan Syndrome. Look it up, it exists. To me he does not fit the criteria of Aspergers. And if you don't think there is a bad gaming problem in this country, just google Video Games and kids and a plethora of information will come up. Excessive gaming hurts everyone, parent and child alike. Posted: 11/11/10 15:53
	Unimpressed says: This still has nothing to do with Secondlife, but your individual son. My empathy is not given to blinds rants, you are right. I am empathetic to the fact your son has an illness, but much of your posts were rants about other's. The reality is your son requires extensive counselling and a definitive diagnosis if he is to receive treatment in accordance with your theory. My main point was that Secondlife is an outlet, not responsible for the inability of individuals. Posted: 11/18/10 11:49
	MelodyL says: You know, you are absolutely right. I started this forum many years ago. I blamed Second Life, when I should have put the blame on where it should have gone. thanks for reminding me. Posted: 11/18/10 11:53
	Unimpressed says: I wish you the best, in your endeavour to aid your son. Posted: 12/02/10 11:29
	MelodyL says: I do thank you. We have no contact with him. It's unfortunate but I had to maintain my sanity. It is what it is. I tried for many years. I now have to move on. Posted: 12/02/10 17:05
	EvilNightlady says: I'm a few years younger then your son and just like him I have asperger syndrome. The thing is having "relationships" is hard for people like your son and I. We just don't interact well with other people. Most people will just turn us down for werid thing we will not look them in the eyes or when we do it seems as if we are floating off in our own world. when I was In high school I only had a few friends and most of them acted like they were but weren't. I use to hammer my self hard about it. MelodyL all i have to say is don't give up. I gamed because it was had for me to mingle and online i could be what i wanted to be because though typing we can get our thoughts out one by one but out side of the gaming world we are lost. take him to see someone. Have some one with asperger syndrome go over to were ever he lives and take to him because the people we get along with are people you are the most like us. I will talk to him over email to if you give his email address to me. We are smart people that no one under stands. We just need to get out of our shells. Posted: 02/18/11 18:55
	EvilNightlady says: PWI all the way (Perfect world international) That was the game i played and i still do once a week tell your son that he has to try to cut down on the gaming. Posted: 02/18/11 19:02
	MelodyL says: To Evilnightlady: How kind of you to write me. My son (according to several psychologists who evaluated his behavior (I gave them his dialogue that he did with me). They all agree he does not have aspergers disorder. He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We have had no contact with him at all. I do however wish you much luck in your life. Thanks so much for contacting me. Posted: 02/18/11 19:20
	MelodyL says: Dear Evilnightlady: I had to get off the computer last night so my response to you was short. My son is a gambler. He has gone to Las Vegas and lost eveything. My husband met up with him there and saw him interact with many people. My son also went to college, had friends and I would have his friends in my home (all their bikes were in my living room). I made snacks, etc. Then at the age of 20, he upped and left. He had had his own computer from the age of 18 and I used to see him playing Everquest. I had no idea what this was. Who knew way back 12 or so years ago, what this gaming industry would create. We are losing the best and brightest of our youngsters. I know you have aspergers. My son does not. He is a manipulative, cruel young man who has abandoned family and has even robbed his neighbors of their mail (he confessed this to me once). His behavior has been so reprehensible that I can no longer have him in my life. But I really want to thank you for trying to reach out. When I thought had had aspergers I sent him all the literature and gave him all the advice that I knew (because I read up on aspergers, my husband and I went to an aspergers support group meeting where 50 men had aspergers. My son was not like any of them. So when one psychiatrist (who never treated adults with AS), just looked at my son and said "you have aspergers", and then my son said to me "All I have to do is go on Social Security and I'll be taken care of". well, that is NOT aspergers. That is a manipulative young man who thinks the world revolves around him. I once asked him "Why did you leave home and he said "would you have let me stay and you take care of me, and let me play my games?" and I said 'now what kind of mother would do that?" and he said "now you know why I left". This is NOT aspergers. But again, I wish you much luck. You sound like a compassionate young man. Posted: 02/19/11 05:59
	EvilNightlady says: Thank you for sending me luck MelodyL even though i don't need it I am thankful that i got it. I should tell give you so info about this. If u son is anything like my brother anger will follow with his actions. My family was not the funnest place to be when i was younger. My brother was a gamer and a gambler and a year after the gambling he started to do dugs. Anger comes with the dugs and gambling taken away. THANK god that i was and still am stronger then him. One day he can home, yes he lives with me still even though he is 10 years older, and started punching holes though the walls. He gave Jena (my so-to-be-sister-in-law) a black eye and would have keeped going if i didn't stop him. I was scared my son was in the living room crying and Jena was on the floor. Lunging in fount of him I stopped his next blow and got my nose bashed in to my face. He is fine now almost a year after that happened. What i'm trying to tell u is be care full something can happen the best thing to do is put him in to a room with people like him and have him talk about their feelings Posted: 02/26/11 17:13
	EvilNightlady says: p.s this is my girlfriends blog thing that's why it says Eivl Night Lady Posted: 02/26/11 17:17
	EvilNightlady says: Just call me Samual Posted: 02/26/11 17:18
	EvilNightlady says: Just call me Samual Posted: 02/26/11 18:11
	MelodyL says: Samuel, my son moved out 9 years ago and I have NOT seen him since. He was violent at the age of 15 when he completely lost it and went after my husband. My husband called the cops but refused to press charges. Anyway, he moved out at age 20. When last we spoke, he was still gaming, gambling and I have no idea what else he was doing. He was a loner and well, I have moved on. I have peace in my life. I got my health back and I could never live in that kind of hostile, toxic environment ever again. We make choices in this world and he made his and now I have made mine. I want the next years of my life to be peaceful and I do hope they will be. Whatever my son does with the rest of his life, well that's on him. Best of luck. Mel Posted: 02/26/11 18:51
	tutbeck says: Some facts: 1- We do not lost the "Real" contact with our children on 14 , 15 years old, it happens much earlier, when caracter e personal "valors" are formed. Then Later, we blame drugs, alcool, bad friends or "something else" that came to the "spot". Can we really exclude ourselves of any reponsability ? This is a dangerous world, and there is no safe way, the best we can do is have CARE, LOVE and DEDICATION , better before than later, or for some, too late. Posted: 03/06/11 05:21
	tutbeck says: Fact 2- The virtual worlds came to stay, and probably none of them will be shutt down, or get some of their owners arrested. It is our responsability to get close to our children WHEN they still are learnig from us and get they prepared for what we can see that is comming. The tecnology is just one of the many "traps" that lies ahead. Don´t get me wrong, i´m not saying that we can´t report abuses for some mmorpg like SL or others, but knowing that is no radical solution that doesn´t create a bigger problem. Posted: 03/06/11 05:47
	MelodyL says: Fact #3. This morning I was having breakfast with all the people who are over 50. There are NO younger people who come in for breakfast any more. Not in many many years. This morning a guy around 55 or so brought his grandaughter in to have breakfast with him. He was beaming. She proudly declared "This is my grandaughter (who was around 7 and who could not care less about meeting her grandpa's breakfast buddies) We all said "oh hi there grandaughter, how are you today?'" No response. He sat down, ordered breakfast for her and we all simply let them continue on with their breakfast (thinking that she was eating breakfast). Five minutes later they stand up and we said "you finished already"? and the guy said "No, she won't eat breakfast and my grandson would not leave the house (he is 11). We looked at him and said "what do you mean your grandson won't leave the house?" He said 'I have to go and buy a computer so they can play games when they come to my house'. I looked at my friend who I was having breakfast with and I just looked at her and she just looked at me. We understood completely. I looked at the little girl (who had not uttered one word since she came in), and I said "Honey, your grandpa is going to buy a computer, do you know how to use a computer?? and she looked at me like I was a dinosaur and she said "Of couse". and I said "what do you do on the computer?" and she said "I play games". And I said "do you put a disc in and play from the disc or do you go online?" and she said "I go online, of course, doesn't everybody". The grandpa didn't know what she was talking about, they had no common ground to discuss anything and he was off to buy a computer so when they come to visit they can do the same thing at HIS house that they do at THEIR house. Play online games. No communication, no going out to play stick-ball, no running around, no nothing. Just computer gaming. I absolutely stick by what I originally said. Computers will be the ruination of all the younger people today. They have no communication skills, they just want to go online and play games. I then asked the grandpa "when you get your computer, will you know how to use it?" He said "I have no idea". I then said "oh your 11 year old grandson will show you?" He sadly shook his head and said softly "Nah, he has no patience for me, I'll have to go to the library and learn and then they can come and play games at my house". So the future of our younger kids is simply going from their own homes, off to grandpas to play on Grandpa's computer and not even talk to grandpa. If no one sees that this is going to be a big problem in the future, well I don't know what else to say. When I saw that little girl not communicating with her own grandpa, and with no one who addressed her, but she did answer my question about computing and she acted like I lost my mind, well enough said. The grandpa then announced "since they won't eat breakfast out with me, I'll go and buy a bottle of syrup and make pancakes for them at home" The children are running the show. They don't know this yet because they are of course too young to realize this, but when you give kids this much power and say so in their development, you are setting them up for FAILURE later on. Kids need to develop communication skills, to show respect for their elders and to be accountable for their misdeeds. I often remember going out for breakfast with my dad and my grandmother on separate occasions which I always thought was a treat. I met their friends, I was respectful and I learned a lot. Of course, way back then there were no hand held gaming devices and no computers. Ah for the good old days. Mel Posted: 03/06/11 06:08
	MelodyL says: And just to blow your mind, 20 years ago, on a tv show called Star Trek the Next Generation, they did an episode about GAMING ADDICTION. I never forgot watching that episode. Here is a link that gives the plot line. VERY INTERESTING, if you think about where we are now 20 years later. Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org.../The_Game_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation) Posted: 03/06/11 06:32
	tutbeck says: I´m a telecomunications engineer and also a computer programmer, in the "good old days" of BBS and internet (the beginnig of the 90´s) i met my wife online and make some good friends, that still close until today. I have a doughter of 13 that grew up among computers online. But i never let her get into Second life and most importantly: she knows why. I know well that enviroment, and i have a 4 years old avatar and so my wife. But i dont´t think that´s a good place for children, even in a PG island. There´s no way to get so many people to place without bring may bad things with then. I think you got to the point in your previus post. There´s a lot of parents that yet not realize the danger of the online exposure, and they are not aware and prepared to deal whith those new paradigms, that in fact is not so diferent than the tradicional exposure. I won´t let my kid alone downtown, why we should do that in a million users uncontrolled enviroment ? And again we start talking about awareness and responsability. Posted: 03/06/11 07:33
	tutbeck says: I remember that STNG episode, and i think we can find many other references to people who scape from "reality" in alternative worlds of joy and freedoom, but the point is: That´s just one easy way to get away. There always be others ways ... perhapps we may pay some attention in the CAUSE and not only the SYMPTOM. Far as i Know, people with balance in their lives are rarely victims of any kind of addiction. Posted: 03/06/11 07:55
	MelodyL says: Excellent posts. Thank you for replying. Posted: 03/06/11 08:23
	Marrik says: Hmmm I agree and disagree with a lot of things posted. I think blaming a video game for your sons problems is slightly ridiculous I do agree that some of the time the parents are at fault primarily for enabling the person to do what they want but over all its the player to blame. I don't believe in video game addiction I think its a bull shit disease so that the blame can be passed when the fact of the matter is that every time you sit down and start up a game its a decision. I spend a large amount of time online and playing video games, I found my girlfriend online and she will sit down and play video games with me, but I also do a great deal of other things like hanging out with my friends, parkour, and football on top of working 8 hours a day 7 days a week. I think what I'm trying to say is don't blame the gun for killing someone blame the person who pulled the trigger. Posted: 06/09/11 21:22
	Marrik says: Hmmm I agree and disagree with a lot of things posted. I think blaming a video game for your sons problems is slightly ridiculous I do agree that some of the time the parents are at fault primarily for enabling the person to do what they want but over all its the player to blame. I don't believe in video game addiction I think its a bull shit disease so that the blame can be passed when the fact of the matter is that every time you sit down and start up a game its a decision. I spend a large amount of time online and playing video games, I found my girlfriend online and she will sit down and play video games with me, but I also do a great deal of other things like hanging out with my friends, parkour, and football on top of working 8 hours a day 7 days a week. I think what I'm trying to say is don't blame the gun for killing someone blame the person who pulled the trigger. Posted: 06/09/11 21:22
	MelodyL says: You are absolutely correct. I recently found out that the professionals do not think my son has Aspergers. He has borderline personality disorder, so it doesn't matter what his addiction is. His behavior is extremely inappropriate, appalling and self indulgent. You on the other hand are amazing. I know what Parkour is. Wow, way to go. Melody Posted: 06/10/11 05:20
	Woodtrio says: Hello, My Name is Rebekah and I am...uh well lets just say that I'm -- because I would rather not put my age. But anyhow, thankfully I grew up right after cell phones came out, and computers weren't to put "Fashionable".I lived with my parents and grandparents in a nice spacious house that had a big backyard and hundreds of trees to climb.My parents who were young when they had me, taught me to love being outside, and because we lived in Texas, it was almost always a good tempature outside to play.Your post has made me relize that one of my close friends, might have your sons disorder. He was fine until his thirteenth birthday when he threw a glass vase at his mom because she told him to get off the computer and greet his friends. I was sadley the only other girl at the party other than his mom and I was again the only other person who screamed, but I remember the way his face just changed suddenly and how mean he was afterwards. A few months after this happened he started to bribe money from people so that he could buy stuff online for the game Second Life. When school came around again in the fall he started going days and even months without talking to anyone, and soon I found out that included his parents. You have helped ME understand how addicting gaming is and now I understand what I will NOT do when I have kids. I only got and account so that I post this and say THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! Many people have probuly found this site trying to find video games (like myself sadly) and read your post, and it probuly got to them like it did to me.Thank you,Rebekah Posted: 06/22/11 13:36
	Woodtrio says: It was also the most intresting thing online that I spent 30 minutes reading and creating an account for!Rbekah Posted: 06/22/11 13:47
	MelodyL says: Thank you for letting me know. You are a very smart cookie. I hit the reply button and I don't know if you will get my other reply so I'm also posting it straight on here. As I said in my reply to you. Rebekah, keep climbing those trees. Melody Posted: 06/22/11 16:58
	doey says: He's out of the house. He's an adult. You can't live his life for him. You can't even expect him to visit or communicate. There're a lot of people in this world that're not extroverts. Some people will never find it easy to socialize in-person. As long as they're able to support themselves and they're living legally then it's their right to live their life as they want. Btw, Second Life isn't really a game. It's whatever you want it to be. It can be a business. It can be a game. It can be a chat room. It can be sandbox where you make impossible dreams manifest. It's never perfectly alike from one person to the next. Technology will not slow down for you MelodyL. It won't stop to let everyone that's abusing it or misusing it time to recover. It's roaring ahead like most other things in life. People have different strengths and weaknesses. And one man's strength can be another man's weakness. One way of looking at this is that if your son every figures out how to make a profit from his second life then he may yet actually get some benefit from it. I wish you could take a step back and realize these are your son's choices and so long as he's not living under your roof you should be grateful that you don't have to live with him. Live your life the way you intend to and attempt to help others in whichever way you can, but don't expect too much from them. Posted: 07/18/11 16:15
	MelodyL says: You make a lot of sense. Thank you. Posted: 07/18/11 17:55
	NorthernAngel says: Melody, you need to relax. I'm 21, not a huge gamer myself, but I do dabble. Your approach/view on the gaming industry is that much like Jack Thompson, quick to judge, but has no fucking clue of he's talking about or how to present his argument in a resonable & proper manner. I mean, hell! I play Left 4 Dead, and you don't see me taking an axe to someone because they drool/walk to slow/cough do you? gaming does NOT ruin lives, people who can't balance their life properly ruin their own life. You say your son is brilliant, do you know that smart people are some of the most antisocial/disorganized/selfish people out there? your son may very well be going through a part in his life that he feels that he needs to surround himself with only people like him(i.e gamers). don't count out your son just yet, he may come around still. Posted: 07/23/11 21:44
	MelodyL says: I don't see that happening. He is in a mental hospital (one of MANY that he has been in because he threatens suicide every five minutes). He is a gamer, gambling and he'll be one for the rest of his life. And if you don't think that this NEW world of ours has socially ostracized it's young, then you are the one who needs your head examined. Do you realize how many people are texting while they drive? I have seen two people stand across from each other (when they could be speaking to each other) and they are texting each other. All this gaming and computer use has led our young people down a path that will bite them in the ass when they hit their adulthood because it's only going to get more techno. I'm not saying do away with all technology but when you have a 14 year old, who, when you unplug the computer and say "go and do your homework, and then he gets up and throws the computer at you, YOU DON'T THINK THERE'S A PROBLEM??? Now really!!! Melody Posted: 07/24/11 05:01
	Alextre says: Listen, let your son live his life,his, not yours. I know it's hard to hear but judging by your approach at all of this and your biased as well as selfish comments, he probably disliked you as a child and only wants you out of his life. Melody, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if you continue to treat your 26 year old son like a child, then you will end up being the one to push him away instead of vice versa. At the age of 18 or so it is said, one is able to make their own decisions, and it looks like you just could not let go. Your son has the same rights as every other human being, technology seems like a lot for you to handle, it is human nature to adapt, and you are denying this of yourself. Oh and STOP YELLING AT PEOPLE WITH CAPITAL LETTERS, IT IS NOT CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, IT JUST MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A BITCH. I feel as though I have said enough, and you will be very pissed at me, in turn all I have to say is, you asked for advice, you've got it, accept it. Posted: 09/07/11 17:25
	MelodyL says: My son is 30 years old, never worked a day in his life and left us like we were nothing. You can view his behavior any way you prefer. I choose to view him as a parasite who brings nothing to the world. No compassion, no empathy, just gambling, and entitlement issues. And by the way, you are a fool. You write like a child, not like an adult. You were very cruel to write what you did but it had no effect on me. None of you can have any effect on me. I hope no one else replies because I'm done. I'm on to happier things in my life. Melody Posted: 09/07/11 17:31